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Sunday, August 5, 2012

How to become a good face to face communicator

From time to time, we are all guilty of not being good communicators, but then there are those people that it seems are never listening when you talk to them. They are usually very overwhelmed and feel they have too much to do to take a few minutes to stop, look, and listen to the person speaking to them. This can be detrimental to even the best relationships.

Okay, so I have stated the three things that are integral to effective communication. Can you believe speaking isn't one of them? So many times people talk incessantly because they are uncomfortable with silence or maybe they are so wrapped up in getting their thoughts out there that they can't fathom not talking. Silence really is golden! Listening is a very important part of communicating and if you are constantly talking or interrupting then you are NOT listening.

So now, let me delve deeper into the stop, look, and listen part of communicating.


Put down whatever you are doing, turn away from the television, computer screen or other device and place your attention on the person speaking to you. Really, it is a matter of respect, at this point and you cannot concentrate on the person speaking if you are preoccupied.


Look at the person speaking to you. Communication is not all about words. Other factors such as body language, tone, rate, pitch, and breathing are also part of communication. Paying close attention to these factors will give you even more information such as how the person is feeling; whether it is an urgent or emotional matter, etc.


Let the speaker finish speaking before responding. The speaker will get a feel for your opinion on the matter through your own body language as he is speaking. Once the speaker is finished, reflect on what was said and then respond.

Following these simple rules will drastically improve your ability to communicate effectively with others. Remember to stop, look, and listen the next time someone wants to speak with you. You will see improvement in all of your relationships, personal and business.

- Stephanie Brendel

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